When I was 17, I thought my life was all figured out. My university applications were underway, I was just about recovering from a heartbreak, finding out who my friends were, and waiting for my life as a language teacher to begin. It’s interesting to look back and realise just how different my perspective on the world was. I didn’t have any interest in blogging, being creative for a living; I wouldn’t have thought in my wildest dreams that I would have dropped out of uni (twice) and discovered a passion for photography, beauty and writing.
I began seeing my boyfriend Tom on my 18th birthday, and to be honest at 17 I could have really benefitted from the knowledge that I was about to start the longest relationship of my life so far. I was so lost and lonely, unsure of who I wanted to be or what I had to do to be accepted. I was completely unaware that this relationship would define who I am, how I interact with other people and would cement so many people into my life that would come to support me through some of the hardest times at university.
I also wish I had realised my passion for not just blogging but creativity. I was extremely creative in my childhood, never not writing or drawing something, but lost that in my teens. I didn’t actually realise the extent of my love for art, creativity, photography etc until I really started work on my Instagram and after the first year of blogging. I wish I could have told myself that it’s fine if no one else really ‘gets’ it, because you’re pretty damn good at this- own that.
Finally, regarding university. Back then I knew I would love London, so different and independent from my home life at the time. I just didn’t realise how much I would dislike uni and how I would spend the next few years in constant battle with myself over whether I should stay to make my family happy or risk disappointing them but feel more stable. I don’t think I would change my university experience in terms of dropping out, only because it’s lead me to this path I’m on today. I just wish things had been a little different and I hadn’t felt so isolated and lonely the entire time. Still, I have discovered a love for London like no other city I have been to before, and know that it will always be my home.
5 years ago I was getting ready for everything to change; just not in the way I assumed it would.